My teenage daughter affectionately call me “Mom-ther”. My teenage son calls me “Momma”. When they were tiny humans, they called me “Mommy”. No matter your moniker or how you came to be raising another human, parenting can be both the most rewarding and joyous experience and also one of the hardest things you have ever done. Whether you are celebrating the joys or crying through the struggles, there are things as parents we can do each day to help ourselves (and our children).
There can be a lot of pressure as you raise another person to become an adult. Each of us brings our own history (positive and negative) and our own strengths and weaknesses. Please know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Each of us has a different parenting style. Each of our families has a different set of norms and expectations, so please do not compare your parenting to another.
The United States Department of Education offers these tips for being an effective parent:
- Show love. Say “I love you” in as many ways as you can: write notes, send a text, use one of their favorite communication apps.
- Give support. Be present. Turn of the electronics. Talk and engage. Be a part of their lives. Show interest in what they are interested in.
- Set limits. Be clear and be consistent about your expectations. I have said many times “our house rules are not the same as others, but my job is to keep you safe and healthy.”
- Be a role model. Be kind. Don’t gossip. Be strong. Show empathy. Our children are seeing how we interact with the world and will emulate whatever we do.
- Teach responsibility. Give children the opportunity to learn this while they are still at home with you.
- Provide new experiences. Step out of your comfort zone and try new activities, foods, and cultural events.
- Show respect. Ask questions and listen for the answers. Valuing our children as humans with their own thought and desires can help them and us immensely.
Another important part of being an effective parent is for you to keep learning! The Center for Disease Control has compiled many resources to help you as you seek out information to be the best parent.
As you think about parenting for the win today, tomorrow, and as the years quickly fly by, remember to approach your parenting like you would anything else that you plan to succeed in. Forgive yourself (and your children) when needed and celebrate the littlest of successes. This quote from Zig Ziglar sums it up, in parenting and for life: “You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.”
Written by: Jami Dellifield, Ohio State University, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Hardin County
Reviewed by: Kathy Green, Ohio State University, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Clark County
Sources:
US Department of Education, “Being an Effective Parent — Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence”, 2003 https://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/adolescence/part5.html
Mgbemere , B and , Telles, R. “Types of Parenting Styles and How to Identify Yours”, Developmental Psychology Department, Vanderbilt University https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/
American Academy of Pediatrics, “A ‘Perfect’ Parent, 2015. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/A-Perfect-Parent.aspx
Center for Disease Control , “Positive Parenting Tips”, 2017 https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html
Zig Ziglar, https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/zig_ziglar_381983
Photo Credits
https://pixabay.com/en/stress-mother-baby-woman-parent-419085/
https://pixabay.com/en/parenthood-parenting-child-1832390/
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