Live Healthy Live Well

Let’s face it the last couple of years has been a whirlwind of events that have challenged us all!  The pandemic, racial tensions, natural disasters, and now the war in Ukraine. That isn’t even including the daily events in our lives that add stressors.  Talking to our kids about difficult subjects is one of the toughest things a parent has to do.  It’s hard to put the words together to address such big issues.

Communication helps us to process and to make sense of things we don’t understand. Offering guidance, a listening ear, and explaining current events brings comfort and allows children to understand and process subjects that are challenging (even if we don’t know all the answers).

Allow your child to lead the conversation. This helps you learn exactly what they are concerned about, so you can address it. Ask open-ended questions to gauge their understanding, make sure you are not distracted, and take your time. Making eye contact and repeating back what they say without judgment teaches them how to be good listeners and gives them the opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Be sure to let them know you are there to talk to them when they are comfortable and ready. Lastly, be honest. If you don’t know the answer it is ok to say, “I don’t know, can I get back to you on that?”  Lying can cause damage and may result in the child getting information somewhere else.  It is best that they get information from a trusted adult.

Talking about difficult subjects with children’s guidelines:   

• Be honest
• Limit small kids’ exposure to age-appropriate subjects by turning off social media, tv, radio
• Let them know you are a safe person to share with
• Listen and ask questions
• Acknowledge their feelings. Let them know you understand it is OK to have these feelings of uncertainty. 
• Ask what they would do if they were in a difficult situation
• Get them to consider solutions
• Ask them if they ideas to help or change the situation and what they can do

Sources:

Walls, T. (2020.) How to Talk to Your Child About the News. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/news.html

Rocker, L. (2020). Breaking Bad News to Your Children.  https://www.childpsychologist.com.au/resources/breaking-bad-news-to-your-children-quirky-kids-6-top-tips

Children’s Museum Team, (2020). 7 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Difficult Subjects. https://www.cmosc.org/talking-about-difficult-subjects/

Written by:  Kellie Lemly M.Ed., Family Consumer Science Educator, OSU Extension, Champaign County, lemly.2@osu.edu

Reviewer: Roseanne Scammahorn, Ph.D. Family Consumer Science Educator, OSU Extension, Darke County, scammahorn.5@osu.edu