With the holidays around the corner, I have been thinking about all the things that have changed over the years. When I was a kid, we went to my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve and celebrated with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. When my grandparents moved in to an apartment, the holidays were divided amongst my aunts. As my generation grew and started having children, it became too much to coordinate, so we no longer get together for Christmas with my extended family. We have continued to gather for Thanksgiving, though.
Even as my own kids have grown, our traditions have changed. We used to go to their great-grandpa’s house and then my aunt’s on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day, we opened presents at our house, then went to my parent’s house to open presents and eat with my brother and his family. Finally, we concluded with Christmas evening at their other grandparents’ house with their aunt and uncle. Now, my parent’s go to Florida for the winter, so we no longer celebrate the holidays with my family. While the slower pace on Christmas Day is nice, I miss seeing my parents and my brother and his family for Christmas.
While I do miss some of the traditions of the past, I try not to focus on how things “used” to be, but instead seek to make new traditions that suit the changes in our family. My kids, young adults now, have school or college, work, friends, etc. to juggle along with the “commitments” of the holidays. I could not be happier that they have grown in to happy, healthy, productive, well-adjusted adults, as I had always hoped; however, I would be lying if I said I don’t sometimes miss the time when their world revolved around our family. I try to be supportive and understanding, which is easier to do, so long as I remember that this is the cycle of life.
As I look to the future, I am mostly excited for what is to come. I will miss my daughter when she goes off to college, just as I miss(ed) her brothers when they left. I am looking forward to seeing my young adult children spread their wings and make their way in the world. I will be cheering them on all the way and I will be here to support them as they make new traditions in their own lives. Hopefully, I will be included in many of those traditions. As they go out in to the world, I am sure my husband and I will make some new traditions for ourselves as well. Traditions serve many purposes, including:
- An anxiety buffer– From reciting blessings to raising a glass to make a toast, holiday traditions are replete with rituals which can act as a buffer against anxiety by making our world a more predictable place.
- Happy meals– The long hours spent in the kitchen and the dining room during the preparation and consumption of holiday meals serve some of the same social functions as the hearths of our early ancestors. Sharing a ceremonial meal symbolizes community, brings the entire family together around the table, and smooths the way for conversation and connection.
- Sharing is caring– Anthropologists have noted that among many societies ritualized gift-giving plays a crucial role in maintaining social ties by creating networks of reciprocal relationships.
- The stuff family is made of– The most important function of holiday rituals is their role in maintaining and strengthening family ties.
My kids are mostly grown now, and hopefully the traditions and rituals we have had over the years and ones yet to come, will be looked upon fondly by them, just as I look back with fond remembrance of the traditions of my childhood and those of raising my own children.
Join us Friday, December 17th at 12:00 pm for a 30-minute webinar on Why Traditions are Important Today. The webinar is free, but registration is required at go.osu.edu/playweb.
Written by: Misty Harmon, OSU Extension Educator, Perry County, harmon.416@osu.edu
Reviewed by: Michelle Treber, OSU Extension Educator, Pickaway County, treber.1@osu.edu
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