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Posts Tagged ‘Narrative’

One of my friends posted this quote on her Facebook timeline followed by an encouraging word to use this challenging time to build resiliency.

My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon.” – Mizuta Masahide

That quote got me thinking, “Do I even really understand what resiliency is or what it looks like?”  

Resilience is “the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens” (English Language Learners Dictionary). This indicates, we are somehow able to achieve a positive impact from a negative experience. So how does this happen? What can I do to build resilience?

Although there are many ways to build resiliency, here are five we can focus on:

  1. Change our perspective. When something bad happens, we should shift our focus away from the negative and try to see the positive in the situation. This is called rewriting our narrative. Instead of seeing the struggles and obstacles, we start to look for the opportunities and the blessings. A hopeful outlook empowers us to expect good things will happen to us.
  2. Practice mindful wellness. Without judgement or self-deprecation, acknowledge what we are feeling. Acknowledging our emotions and the impact it has on our mind, body and spirit brings us more into the present. This way we can use mindful practices such as breathing, imagery, body scan or muscle relaxation to cope with negative emotions as they arise, as well as, fully embrace the moments of joy.
  3. Form a social support network. The American Psychological Association (APA) suggests having both inner resources in addition to being active civic organizations or faith-based groups helps us to better handle stressful events successfully. These groups can offer us support, reclaim our joy, and give us peace of mind during a difficult time.
  4. Find a purpose. According to the APA, when we are proactive or task oriented, we are no longer a bystander waiting to see what will happen. We are looking for issues that can be changed and then taking charge of them. We can help others, create new goals for ourselves, and look for opportunities for self-discovery. Finding a purpose can be empowering. 
  5. Be Flexible. Thinking on our feet, going with the flow, and accepting change is a part of life is key to maintaining psychological strength. Accepting that certain goals or ideals may no longer be within our grasp, helps us to focus on the aspects of our lives that we can alter.

Being resilient is more than just one of the above-mentioned skills, it is a holistic outlook that encompasses many possibilities. If you find that one of these suggestions doesn’t work for you, try another one. There is no “one size fits all” solution to coping with adversity. You must find what works best for you and you can realistically incorporate into your life. Just remember, your current pain or misfortune is not your destination, it is just your launching point.

Written by: Dr. Roseanne E. Scammahorn, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Darke County

Reviewed by: Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Perry County

Sources:

Building Your Resilience, (2020). American Psychological Association – https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

Introduction to Mindfulness – https://ohioline.osu.edu/factsheet/hyg-5243

Three Ways to Rewrite Your Story and Embrace the Future – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-gratitude/201206/three-ways-rewrite-your-story-and-embrace-the-future

References:

English Language Learners Dictionary. (2020) Definition of “Resilience” Retrieved on April 10, 2020 from http://www.learnersdictionary.com/definition/resilience

Meichenbaum, D., (2012). Roadmap to Resilience: a Guide for Military, Trauma Victims and Their Families. Clearwater Florida: Institute press

Moore, B. (2014). Keys to Resilience. Retrieved on April 10, 2020 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-camouflage-couch/201401/keys-resilience

Sterling, D., (2011). Five Tips to Increase Resilience. Retrieved on April 10, 2020 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ask-dr-darcy/201102/5-tips-increase-resilience

Virelli, R., (2013). Learning to be Resilient. Retrieved on April 10, 2020 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201305/learning-be-resilient

Watson, R., (2012). Three Ways to Rewrite Your Story and Embrace the Future. Retrieved on April 10, 2020 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-gratitude/201206/three-ways-rewrite-your-story-and-embrace-the-future

Photo Credit: Image by Susan Cipriano from Pixabay

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