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COVID 19 has added stress to our lives in a way that just a few month’s ago was unimaginable. Now more than ever, it is important for parents to take care of themselves so they can take care of their children. April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. We know that when families are experiencing stress, children are more likely to be abused or neglected.

Protective Factors are “conditions or attributes (skills, strengths, resources, supports or coping strategies) in individuals, families, communities or the larger society that help people deal more effectively with stressful events and mitigate or eliminate risk in families and communities”. Strengthening Families identifies 5 Protective Factors to help families build resiliency and support:

  1. Parent Resilience: No one can eliminate stress from parenting, but building parental resilience can affect how a parent deals with stress.
  2. Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development: Having accurate information about raising young children and appropriate expectations for their behavior help parents better understand and care for children.
  3. Social and Emotional Competence of Children: A child’s ability to interact positively with others, to self-regulate, and to effectively communicate his or her emotions has a great impact on the parent-child relationship.
  4. Social Connections: Friends, family members, neighbors, and other members of a community provide emotional support and concrete assistance to parents. Social connections help parents build networks of support.
  5. Concrete Support in Times of Need: Parents need access to the types of concrete supports and services that can minimize the stress of difficult situations, such as a family crisis, a condition such as substance abuse, or stress associated with lack of resources.

We all face challenging times in our lives, but when we have supports in place, we have the tools we need to accept, adapt or overcome them.  Building your own resilience is one way to support your child because it gives them stability and confidence in knowing that they can rely on you. Creating this type of environment for your child makes them feel safe and builds self-reliance, problem solving and self-regulation which are skills they will use throughout their lives. For more about resilience check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8hj72bfGo.

For ideas and strategies to maintain your sanity and support your children during the pandemic, check out this Parent’s Guide to Surviving COVID-19 from the Brookings Institute or these resources from our co-workers at Iowa State University Extension https://www.extension.iastate.edu/humansciences/disaster-recovery.

Writer: Heather Reister, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Butler County.

Reviewer: Lisa Barlage, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Ross County.

Sources:

Center for the Study of Social Policy’s Strengthening Families (2018). About Strengthening Families and the Protective Factors Framework. https://cssp.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/About-Strengthening-Families.pdf

Gail Innis, Protective Factors: What are they and how can they help families? February 17, 2014, Michigan State University Extension, https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/protective_factors_what_are_they_and_how_can_they_help_families

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parent-autumnWhen sitting on an airplane, waiting for take-off, have you ever put much thought into why flight attendants instruct parents travelling with young children to put their oxygen mask first before putting it on their small children?

Quite simply, in order to effectively care for a child in this situation, the adult must take the steps to care for themselves first. Without taking care of yourself, it is difficult to be able to be helpful to your child travelling with you. It’s easy to see this connection related to travelling on a plane, but truth is, parents need to take time to care for themselves on a regular basis. In fact in order to have the energy to take care of all our child’s needs and desires, we need to make sure that we are also taking care of ourselves.

With the many demands on our time, parents often find it difficult to take care of ourselves. We may sacrifice our needs for the sake of time, energy and money. However, practicing self-care is actually very important to becoming an effective parent. Not only does our body need the care to be healthier, but we have to be thoughtful about the unhealthy behaviors being demonstrated to our children. Self-care includes the simple things like getting enough sleep and eating healthy meals, as well as meeting our emotional, social, psychological, creative and spiritual needs.

 

Some examples of self-care include:

  • Eating regularly in healthy ways
  • Getting enough exercise
  • Sleeping enough
  • Getting away from the phone, email, TV
  • Spending time with friends
  • Expressing emotions
  • Cuddling and kissing someone you care about
  • Saying no to extra responsibilities
  • Giving yourself quiet time for self-reflection
  • Writing in a journal
  • Enjoying a hobby

As parents we, at times feel pressured to give so much to our children. It is not easy to reorganize the way things are prioritized in our hectic lives. It is important to remember that taking care of yourself is not neglecting your child’s needs. So just like on the airplane, don’t forget to grab our oxygen masks first.

 

Written by: Kathy Green, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University, Butler County, Miami Valley EERA

Reviewed by: Michelle Treber, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University, Pickaway County, Heart of Ohio EERA

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family mealPoor nutrition + inactive lifestyle = childhood obesity.  That is a very simple formula.  Every day there is a new story in the media about childhood obesity.  Obesity is running a close second to smoking as the nation’s number one preventable killer.  It is a major factor for heart disease, and increases the potential for high cholesterol, blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and other serious health problems.  According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 8 preschoolers are obese in the United States. Obese children are 5 times more likely to become obese adults and suffer lifelong physical and mental health problems.

How did we get here?  Life today is so hectic for families. Some parents are working longer hours away from home and children. Days are so filled with stress that some parents simply do not have the time or energy to apply healthy eating rules into their homes. For example, breakfast is often skipped or consists of a pop tart on the run.  Family meals are rare and have been replaced with meals on the run at fast food restaurants.  We live in a “super sized” world where we are led to believe that bigger is better.

Adding to the issue of nutrition there is also the concern of inactivity. Kids today spend too much time sitting still.  Exercise is out and video games, laptops and TV shows are in. Recess time or free time during the school day is very limited.  And sadly many of our neighborhoods are too dangerous for kids to play outside without adult supervision.

So how do we fix this? Parents are the key to changing the behaviors in their home. By changing family behavior and creating a healthy weight environment you can help your family to engage in a healthy lifestyle.  Here are some tips to help start your family on a pathway to a healthier lifestyle:

  • Set goals and start small. New habits take a while to become routines.  A simple goal might be to offer vegetables or fruits at snack time.
  • Drink water at mealtimes and as a refreshing snack.  If you are eating at a restaurant, you will save money and make a healthy choice by drinking water.
  • Recognize triggers that will tempt you to fall back into old habits.  If your child loves video games limit their screen time and encourage them to play outside.
  • Surround your family with healthy foods.  Keep plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains available.
  • Try to  eat at home more.  Explore easy meals and try new, healthy recipes.  Check out http://go.osu.edu/healthyrecipe      for some guidelines to help you personalize your eating plans. You will  find ways to combine fresh and convenience foods to make a healthy meal in  a hurry.
  • Take the time to read labels.  There are some fruit juices and juice drinks that have as many or more grams of sugar as      soda.
  • Plan ahead for busy days.  Cook once for two or more meals.  Dust off the crock pot and make a healthy recipe. Visit this website for recipes you can make with your favorite ingredients.       http://go.osu.edu/recipefinder
  • Join your  kids as you all move more. Take a walk or bike ride around the block or play a game of tag. Physical Activity is an important key to good health.
  • Celebrate  success with rewards.  Make sure the rewards are healthy – what about a visiting the nearest playground or park to play with your family?  Fly a kite with your kids for a fun springtime activity.
  • Be flexible.  If the plan is not working, make the necessary changes to reach your goals.

All of these things are something parents can control. Parents are the key to the health and lifestyle choices of their children. Being a good role model, remaining confident in your parenting choices, and feeling competent to address the resistance of family members might require being a strong parent, but with practice it can be done. Take charge of future, not only for yourself, but your children as well. They will thank you for it later.

References:

http://www.cdc.gov/VitalSigns/ChildhoodObesity/

www.choosemyplate.gov

Writer: Kathy Green, Extension Educator, Family & Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Butler County, Miami Valley EERA.

Reviewer:   Michelle Treber, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Pickaway County, Heart of Ohio EERA, treber.1@osu.edu

 

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Walk with others

Walk with others

“The police called; they have Mom.  It’s the third time this month that Mom got mixed up and was found in the neighbor’s house.  Mom is getting more and more confused.  She doesn’t prepare healthy meals and often forgets to turn the oven off when she cooks.  She misses doses of her medicine because she forgets.  I feel like she needs daily assistance, but I have to work…  What can I do?”

Does this scenario sound familiar?  It is difficult to think about the possibility that someday one or both of our parents won’t be self-sufficient and will develop an increased dependency in meeting his/her daily needs.  Situations such as these are becoming much more familiar to many working adults.  The percentage of the U.S. population over the age of 65 continues to increase, so does the number of adult workers who are involved in caregiving.  In addition, there has been an increase in persons providing care to disabled children and veterans.

The month of November is National Caregiver’s Month which gives us an even stronger reason to reflect on the stresses and strains associated with the responsibility of providing care for a loved one.   These strains can be particularly difficult for mid-lifers juggling work, marriage duties, caring for their aging parents and the needs of their own children.  Along with the physical demands, it is also difficult to see the loss of independence of our parents.  However, many Americans see the time spent caring for their aging parents as only a small sacrifice.  During this process, caring for an elderly parent can be satisfying and enjoyable often resulting in an improved relationship for both parties. Most children help their parents willingly when needed and feel a sense of satisfaction by doing so.

Some ways to reduce the stress and increase the satisfying aspect of caregiving are some simple ideas that can make the experience more enjoyable.

  1. Set realistic goals and expectations and know your limitations.
  2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Reach out to other family members and friends who can reduce the load of responsibilities.
  3. Remember to take care of yourself.  Losing yourself during the process or not seeing to your own health demands, nor maintaining your own health will only be harmful to both you and your family.  And lastly, involve other people by holding a family conference, seeking professional assistance, and using community resources.

Many communities have resources available to assist in those facing caregiving issues. Contact your local Center for Aging or Board of Disability Services to find more information.

Writer:  Kathy Green, Extension Educator, Family & Consumer Science, Ohio State University Extension, Butler County

Reviewer:  Cheryl Barber Spires, R.D., L.D., SNAP-Ed Program Specialist, Ohio State University Extension, West Region

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