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Posts Tagged ‘transitions’

Baby Makes Five: Preparing Siblings

Posted in Healthy Relationships, tagged , , on February 14, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I am about three weeks from welcoming a new baby, baby number three. This is a major change in routine and family life, so preparing siblings for this major change can help in this transition. The preparation for each child will vary widely depending on the age of the child. However, no matter the age of the child there are some practical ways parents can help prepare new siblings for baby’s arrival.

A young child sitting on a bed with two adults and a baby
  • Have ongoing conversation about what is going on and what is to come:
    • Be honest, talk about how the baby is going to cry and need a lot of attention. Also let your child or children know that they won’t be able to play with baby until it’s older.
    • Let your child know that routines may change a little but try to keep the day to day activities the same. For example, mommy won’t be going to swimming lessons for a few weeks but grandma and grandpa are going to take you and it’s going to be so much fun.
    • Always reassure your child that even if you can’t be with them all the time, you still love him/her the same.
    • Focus on what the siblings can do. Depending on the age of the child they might be able to help feed, get a burp cloth, or hold the baby.
    • Prepare your child for when you are in the hospital. This can be very confusing for a young child. Explain who they are going to stay with, when you are going to be back, that you are going to be okay.
  • Get books about being a big brother or big sister and about having a new baby in the house. This can get you child to start thinking about their new role and the changes that might happen.
  • Get a doll for your child to help prepare and practice ways they might help with the new baby.
  • Let your child help prepare for the baby, like go shopping to get things for the baby together or let them set up some things in the room.
  • Set some time aside to do some special activities with you and other children before baby arrives.

While there are some great practical ways to help prepare siblings in their role, you can expect some setbacks such as regression and jealousy. However, having these ongoing conversations and activities can help in this major family transition.

Juliann Garey. Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling. 2023. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/preparing-child-new-sibling/

HealthyChildren.org. How to Prepare Your Older Children for a New Baby. 2019 Adapted from American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/Pages/Preparing-Your-Family-for-a-New-Baby.aspx

Author: Katie Schlagheck, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ottawa & Sandusky Counties

Reviewer: Jenny Lobb, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Franklin County

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Celebrating Groundhog Day S.M.A.R.T.ly

Posted in Healthy Relationships, tagged , , , , on January 31, 2023| Leave a Comment »

 

As we get ready to surround our televisions to celebrate a famous groundhog who tells us when the next season will arrive, have

Man holding Groundhog

you ever wondered why? As the seasons change from winter to spring, Groundhog Day allows each of us to turn over a new leaf and transition with whatever news the groundhog brings. So, whether you listen to Buckeye Chuck or Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction this year, take some time to come out of hibernation and set goals for the next season no matter how soon or far away it may seem.

Groundhog Day to many is a silly and fun holiday; however, it has ancient origins. February second marks the mid-point between Halloween and Mayday, which historically, was a major festival marking the changing of seasons. In a German tradition, badgers made these types of seasonal predictions, letting people know when to expect the next season. Folklorist Stephen Wick from the American Folklife Center and Veterans History Project found that with immigration, the first account of a modern American Groundhog Day ritual happened on February 2, 1840. At this event, a Pennsylvanian storekeeper noted that the groundhog coming out of hibernation would determine 40 more days of winter or an early spring.

Thinking about how the holiday took shape helps to re-frame the reason for the season or seasons depending on what the groundhog says. As we take this time to transition, setting intentional goals as we all come out of hibernation can be crucial to personal and professional growth in the next season of our lives.

SMART Goals illustration highlighting each step Specific, Measurable Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound

When looking forward and thinking about the next season, setting goals is an important first step. S.M.A.R.T. goals are a popular approach to goal setting that takes into consideration, what you are doing, how long you plan to take, and helps ensure you will be successful.

In the next season, establish your goals S.M.A.R. T. by making them…

  • Specific : What needs to be accomplished?
    • What will the new season bring for you and your loved ones? Make sure the goal is for something you want or need to accomplish. The University of California suggests that it serves as a “mission statement for your goal.”  
  • Measurable: How will the goal be successfully completed?
    • As you plan a goal for the new season, the measurement should provide you with information. No matter what type of information you learn, setting measurable milestones along the way can ensure goal making success.
  • Attainable: Can I do this?
    • As you consider, can I do this, think about your abilities and whose help you may need.
  • Relevant: Is this something that needs to happen now?
    • In this next season, think about the goal and when it needs to happen.
  • Time-Bound: Can this goal be achieved in the specified time frame?
    • Setting a time for the goal to be achieved by is important. Making a time-bound goal helps hold you accountable in this new season.

As we come out of hibernation and transition to a new season, set a S.M.A.R.T goal for the next period in your life. While celebrating Groundhog Day this year, include time to set new goals for the new season; however, quickly or slowly it arrives! We would love to hear what your S.M.A.R.T. goal is or will be!

Sources:

Bailey, Ryan. Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behavior Change. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2017 Sep 13;13(6):615-618. From https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1559827617729634

Bringing people together from all over the World: Groundhog Day. Image. The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. https://www.groundhog.org/legend-and-lore

SMART Goals: A How to Guide. University of California. (n.d.). Retrieved January 30, 2023, from https://www.ucop.edu/local-human-resources/_files/performance-appraisal/How%20to%20write%20SMART%20Goals%20v2.pdf

Set SMART Goals. The University of Minnesota. (n.d.). Retrieved January 30, 2023m from https://effectiveu.umn.edu/tips/smartgoals

Winick, Stephen. Groundhog Day: Ancient Origins of a Modern Celebration. (February 1,2022). Retrieved January 30, 2023, from https://blogs.loc.gov/folklife/2022/02/groundhog-day-ancient-origins-of-a-modern-celebration/

Author: Ryan Kline, Extension Educator, Ohio State University Extension, 4-H Youth Development/Family and Consumer Sciences, Ross County, kline.375@osu.edu.

Reviewed by: Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Perry County, harmon.416@osu.edu.

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It’s Time to Let Her Go

Posted in Healthy Relationships, tagged , , , , on May 30, 2019| Leave a Comment »

 

I remember the nurse placing a screaming dark-haired baby in my arms like it was yesterday. 18 years later, this baby is graduating from high school and telling me she wants to change her address to one different from mine.  While I appreciate her goals and ambitions, watching her go is tough.  Preparing now with a few simple things I am hoping will make this big transition smoother for both of us as she heads to college on her own.

Prepare and You Will Not Fear

I remember being taught this principle in relation to natural disasters when I was young, this same mantra is bringing me some comfort as a mother as I prepare to send a child into the world.  There is a long list of independent living skills youth and young adults need to be successful on their own; more skills than can be taught in the summer between their senior year and heading out on their own.  Starting young with developing and teaching life skills can bring peace and confidence with parents and youth as they move on.  Giving young children and teens responsibilities at home, allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them will prepare them for obstacles and responsibilities they will face when they leave home.  These needed life skills include not only skills such as cooking and laundry but budgeting, relationship skills, emotional and behavioral control, manners, self-care, time management and more.

Am I invited too?

My daughter, who is leaving, sat at the table listening one night as my sister and I discussed future Thanksgiving plans.  When we were finished she asked, “Am I invited too?”  It never occurred to me that she might be having some questions about where she would fit in when she left home.  We talked about what our communication would look like, how often, ways we would stay in contact and what family events she might want to be included in.  I let her know she would be welcome in our home anytime, without an appointment or reason. 

Plans do not always work out.  Let your young adult know that they are welcome in your home and what your requirements might be after they move away and return to visit. Help your child know that while you are excited about their new adventure you are always there if they just need to chat. Communication can be vital during this transition, for both of you.   Do not assume they know they can phone you if they feel sad or need to talk. 

Have a Plan

Have a plan for if things go wrong too.  A clear plan for contingencies can help parents make a decision when emotions are running high or a quick decision is necessary. Have you discussed what will happen if your college student makes poor grades? What if they are homesick and want to return home? What if they want or need to change schools or apartments? What if they are unable to cover expenses and call to ask for money?  Having these discussions before hand can clear up confusion for you and your child. 

Take Care of You

Feelings of loneliness, loss, and grief may all be common when a child leaves home. Have a plan to deal with those feelings.  As I have discussed this transition with friends their advice and reactions have ranged anywhere from excitement to being seriously distraught over their son or daughter moving out.  There is no right or wrong way to feel.  Try to let your feelings run their course. If you feel like crying, cry. It is important to acknowledge how you feel and not allow others to dictate your emotions.  You will not react the same way your friend did to their child moving out and that is ok. 

Every family is different and will have different plans and responses to a big change such as a child leaving home.  Try to remember what a fun new adventure this can be for your son or daughter.  Your enthusiasm can go a long way to helping them move on.  Celebrate their successes and yours, and remember just like with anything else new in life- it takes time!

Good luck! I am in this one with you. . . 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-in-between/201406/5-steps-help-your-teen-leave-the-nest https://www.healthguidance.org/entry/18004/1/how-to-cope-when-your-children-leave-home.html

Author: Alisha Barton, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Miami County, barton.345@osu.edu

Reviewer: Amanda Bohlen, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Washington County, bohlen.19@osu.edu

 

https://www.healthguidance.org/entry/18004/1/how-to-cope-when-your-children-leave-home.html

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