Can you resonate with those words? Do you find yourself having strong stressors and emotions when you listen to the news or read the newspaper? You may find yourself experiencing personal challenges, financial stress, high-pressure jobs, parenting, caregiving, or dealing with a chronic illness. I find myself wondering what’s next or what else am I going to be expected to handle. If you too find yourself with a sense of struggle, being irritable, difficulty concentrating or lacking motivation. Those are sign’s you may be emotionally exhausted.
Emotional exhaustion tends to happen slowly over time and people can find themselves feeling worn out and drained. According to the Mayo Clinic, emotional exhaustion includes emotional, physical and performance symptoms.
Emotional symptoms can include:
Anxiety
Depression
Feeling hopeless
Irritability
Lack of Focus
Lack of Motivation
Negative Thinking
Sense of Being Trapped
Tearfulness
Physical symptoms can include:
Fatigue
Headaches
Lack of Appetite
Muscle Tension
Poor Sleep
Upset Stomach
Performance symptoms can include:
Difficulty Completing Tasks
Increased Absences
Isolation
Lowering Commitments
Not Meeting Deadlines
The middle of the poem goes on to talk about getting out of the heaviness and shifting your focus.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Strategies to reduce emotional exhaustion can include:
Balancing Your Thoughts
Eating A Balanced Diet
Exercising
Minimizing Stressors
Practicing Mindfulness
Sleep
Heaviness can lift. That temporary state can be overcome and when it does, you will feel light again.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
You are stronger than you realize—every challenge you’ve faced has built a resilience within you that can carry you through this too. You will rise stronger than before.
Written by: Amanda Bohlen, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Washington County
Reviewed by: Megan Taylor, Family and Consumer Sciences/4-H Educator, OSU Extension Union County
Think back to when you were a young child. What were you afraid of? Right now my preschool aged daughter is having a lot of fears. Things that as an adult seem unrealistic like bugs, standing on a step stool, and getting lost, but to her these fears are very real.
We know that young children are great at pretending and using their imagination. This can also cause many fears as kids can think of a million different unrealistic things that could happen or things, like monsters that are not real but may feel very real. Other common fears are fear of the dark, loud noises like fireworks, thunder and lightning, or being apart from their caregivers. These fears are normal and almost an expected part of child development.
When fears arise there are some tips to help with the situation:
Give comfort to let your child know that they are safe, give hugs, and whatever you do to help your child feel safe and protected.
Talk and listen, be calm and soothing and try to get your child to put their feeling to words.
Don’t dismiss their fears and worries, to them they are very real.
Limit exposure to scary images, movies, or shows.
Praise and reward kids for coping with their fears to teach them they can deal with fears in the future as they arise.
Don’t cater to fears-don’t avoid things because your child has the fear. For example, if your child is fearful of dogs don’t cross the street to avoid walking by dogs, instead talk through it and remain calm as you face that fear.
There are many children’s books out there with themes of being scared or with facing fears. “The Worrysaurus” by Rachel Bright and “The Very Hungry Worry Monsters” by Rosie Greening are two of many on the subject. There are also episodes of children’s shows on the subject like “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood: Daniel Gets Scared.”
Lately with my daughter she has been telling me she is worried about different things. This has made me do some exploring. The question being, when do fears go beyond fear and cross over into anxiety?
Some signs in anxiety in children are if their fears seem extreme or are more than the fears of those of similar ages. For example, it would not be likely that an older child would experience separation anxiety. If fears cause your child to become very upset, tearful, irritable, or clingy. If fears keep your child from doing things like going to school, sleeping alone, or leaving the house, cause issues sleeping like waking in the night, bad dreams or bed wetting, cause symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, dizziness or sickness., or have a lot of negative thoughts or keep thinking bad things are going to happen.
Whether your child is having a little fear or a big worry, as caregivers we can try to be as supportive as possible to help children overcome their fears, developing ways to cope with their fears and anxieties and to give comfort to them as best as we can.
Written by: Katie Schlagheck, OSU Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences , Ottawa & Sandusky Counties
Reviewed by: Holly Bandy, OSU Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences
When asked in a recent poll, 58% of Americans said that Monday was their least favorite day of the week. For many people, Monday marks the start of a new work week and the tasks and responsibilities that come along with it. Individuals may start to feel some anticipatory anxiety thinking about what Monday will bring, sometimes referred to as the “Sunday Scaries” – a sense of anxiety or dread that comes around each Sunday (or the last day of your weekend). Generally, Sunday Scaries begin in the late afternoon or evening hours, when your mind starts to think of the week ahead.
If you experience these feelings, you are not alone. The shift from “weekend mode” to “work mode” each week is a transition many others struggle with as well. Sunday Scaries may be expressed in different ways, such as: a racing heartbeat, upset stomach, headache, or trouble sleeping.
Stay in the Moment – Try to keep your mind on the present and not on tomorrow’s to-do list. Plan fun activities for the day or spend some time with family and friends.
Sunday Self-Care Routines – Keep time open for rest and relaxation! Complete household chores and tasks on Saturday, so that Sunday can be left for hobbies and activities that you enjoy. This can help you feel more refreshed for the week ahead.
Treat Yourself – Give yourself something to look forward to on Monday. Maybe it’s your favorite food for lunch or plans to meet with friends after work that will make Monday not seem so bad.
Exercise – Schedule in some time for movement. Exercise can relieve some of the stress you may be feeling about your week. If you are able, go outside to get in some green exercise.
Listen to Your Mind – Is there something in particular about work that you are dreading? Perhaps it is a specific task or co-worker that is causing your worries. By figuring out what exactly you are dreading, you can take steps to make changes in your schedule.
If your life and routines are being greatly impacted by the Sunday Scaries – perhaps you are unable to sleep at all on Sunday nights, your eating habits change drastically, or you feel so anxious that you regularly call off work on Mondays, a mental health professional may be able to help you through different treatment options.
Living through a pandemic, working remotely (at times), moving my college students to two different states, losing my dad, going on vacation, and becoming a certified yoga instructor are a few experiences that define the year 2021 for me. What was your 2021 like?
Reflecting on these experiences it became noticeable that my emotions have been on a “high alert”. No matter what has been experienced, the emotion felt has been heightened by the events of the last few years. Happy and peaceful. Excited and scared. Sad and exhausted. Sometimes these emotions are isolated and sometimes experienced in a span of 5 minutes. Like many, realizing and recognizing what is happening emotionally in any moment is something that I have been attempting to pay attention to.
Because I live with generalized anxiety disorder, becoming more aware of my emotional response to situations is an important part of my day. Overthinking situations can lead to misinterpretation of what I am experiencing. This desire to realize how my emotions and feelings affect my response in situations has brought me to learning more about my own emotional identity.
According to emotional psychology theory, emotions are basic or complex. Basic emotions are identified through facial expressions. Complex emotions are a combination of two or more emotions. The six basic emotions are sadness, happiness, fear, surprise, disgust, anger. Some complex emotions are jealousy, hate, hate, regret, joy, apprehension, anticipation.
Emotional Identity is defined as “an individual’s ability to be aware of affective responses that occur during varied daily interactions”. Being able to identify and name emotions can help to process what is occurring. It also keeps each of us from pushing what we are feeling to the background. It is okay to feel. It is okay to express that. By learning to identify and to talk about emotions, healthier relationships can be developed.
My hope for you as the weeks unfold and you experience the joys and struggles is that you accept your emotions as they occur and take time to process, share, and place them. Take time in each part of your day to check in with yourself and what your emotions are telling you. It may be difficult at first, but over time the rewards will be great.
Written By: Jami Dellifield, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Hardin County
Reviewed By: Jenny Lobb, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Franklin County
Sources:
Angel SL. The emotion identification group. Am J Occup Ther. 1981 Apr;35(4):256-62. doi: 10.5014/ajot.35.4.256. PMID: 7223832.
Posted June 27, 2019 by U. W. A. | P. and C. N. (2020, June 22). The science of emotion: Exploring the basics of emotional psychology. UWA Online. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://online.uwa.edu/news/emotional-psychology/.
As an Extension Field Specialist, I have coached traditional food pantries where food is pre-selected to help them transition to a client-choice model where food is chosen based on preferences and needs. Client-choice pantries provide a more dignified experience for people and can be more efficient at preventing food waste since unwanted items aren’t discarded. For many low-income Americans, choosing where and how to grocery shop might be viewed as a privilege reserved for those with greater incomes. The same could be said for people living in developing countries where food, water, and material resources aren’t as abundant. For those of us fortunate enough to have the privilege of choice, we face the challenge of having too much choice. Whether it be food, clothing, TV stations, housing, spouses, lifestyle, investments, hobbies, or even medical procedures, having too many choices can lead to isolation, paralysis in decision making, anxiety, and depression. At the societal level too much choice might lead to waste, tribalism, and perhaps public health problems.
Sometimes we are faced with so much choice that we don’t know what to choose and we become almost paralyzed in our decision making. We are afraid to make the wrong choice, and feel as if we need to further investigate all of the options, which takes time (something I seem to have less of). As a result, we sometimes put off big decisions. I’ve been thinking about purchasing a new insulin pump for my diabetes but there are so many products. In addition, working with insurance to purchase the new product is a headache, so I have yet to make a decision.
Another challenge is choice inflates our expectations and sometimes deflates our satisfaction if we think we made the wrong choice. For example, I was trying to decide between two restaurants the other night, one Indian, the other Mexican. I went with the Mexican and it was good, but part of me wondered if the Indian would have been better. As a result of this thinking, I wasn’t as happy with my experience and I likely missed out on some of the enjoyment of the outing. Although this example seems trivial, all of the choices we make everyday and the sometimes resulting stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction could lead to mental and physical health problems.
At the societal level, too much choice contributes to many small and large-scale problems. Material goods such as food, electronics, and clothing are discarded because people have the option of newer and better choices. I’ve wasted leftover food because I’ve had the choice of eating out. Too much choice might lead to tribalism, isolation, and less cohesion. Growing up, my family had three channels on TV. We watched whatever was on as a family. Now, my three kids are plugged into their phones watching their own shows, etc. I hardly get to talk with them. Thirty years ago, our nation was more cohesive and less tribal. Everyone watched the world series for example, since there weren’t as many options for sports. In terms of public health challenges, we have so many choices for fast food, unhealthy snacks, etc that obesity is more common than ever. We can choose whether or not to get vaccinated, which places others at risk for disease.
What to do? There are two dimensions of wellness to consider for guidance: spiritual and environmental. Spiritual wellness can help people become satisfied and grounded with who they are and with choices they make. Some traditions teach that desires and cravings lead to suffering and seek to reduce these states of mind. Environmental wellness can help people reduce consumption, or reuse new products etc. and thus not feel stressed about getting the newest and greatest item out there.
Obviously, choice is a good thing, and I don’t think any of us want to live in a world where we don’t have any choices. However, we need to reflect on the consequences of having too much choice for our own health, and the health of our families and communities. In any event, I hope this was helpful in some way and I am glad you “chose” to read this…….
Author: Dan Remley, Field Specialist, Food, Nutrition and Wellness Associate Professor, Ohio State University Extension, remely.4@osu.edu
Reviewer: Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Perry County, harmon.416@osu.edu
Sources:
Remley, D., Franzen-Castle, L., McCormack, L., & Eicher-Miller, H. A. (2019). Chronic Health Condition Influences on Client Perceptions of Limited or Non-choice Food Pantries in Low-income, Rural Communities. American Journal of Health Behavior, 43(1), 105–118. https://doi-org.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/10.5993/AJHB.43.1.9
As I was scrolling through Facebook, I came across a meme that said, “Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn’t stop the rain but allows us to keep going.” I had not thought of laughter like that, but I recently found this saying to be accurate.
Life is well, unpredictable. Sometimes you laugh your way through the day because there were many joyous or humorous events. Other times if you did not laugh at the obstacles thrown at you, you would cry. Why does laughter have a healing property? And if laughter is the best medicine, why don’t we laugh more?
Laughter therapy is not new, in fact it has been unofficially in practice for centuries. However, in the past 70 years more research has been focused on the use of laughter to help relieve pain, stress, and anxiety and improve a person’s sense of overall well-being. Researchers have found laughter may significantly increase a person’s level of hope. The hope the person felt helped reduce the severity of the stressors in their life.
Biologically, the act of laughter increases your oxygen levels, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases endorphins, or happy juice, released by your brain. This results in a good, tranquil feeling that sooths tension and aids in muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce the physical symptoms of stress.
Spontaneous laughter, also known as genuine laughter, in addition to psychological benefits, has been linked to increase tolerance of pain in both adults and children. Self-induced, or simulated laughter, like that practiced in Laughter Yoga, has shown decreases in blood pressure, cortisol levels, depressive symptoms, and an increase the perception of life satisfaction.
So how can you increase your daily dose of laughter?
Put humor on your horizon. Find a few simple items, such as photos, greeting cards or comic strips, that make you chuckle. Then hang them up at home or in your office. Keep funny movies, books, magazines or comedy videos on hand for when you need an added humor boost. Look online at joke websites. Go to a comedy club.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Find a way to laugh about your own situations and watch your stress begin to fade away. Even if it feels forced at first, practice laughing. It does your body good.
Consider trying laughter yoga. In laughter yoga, people practice laughter as a group. Laughter is forced at first, but it can soon turn into spontaneous laughter.
Share a laugh. Make it a habit to spend time with friends who make you laugh. And then return the favor by sharing funny stories or jokes with those around you.
Knock, knock. Browse through your local bookstore or library’s selection of joke books and add a few jokes to your list that you can share with friends.
Your challenge is to pick a way to incorporate laughter into your daily life. You just might find, like a wiper blade, it does not stop the rain, but it can make the journey much more enjoyable.
Written by: Dr. Roseanne E. Scammahorn, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Darke County
Reviewed by: Patrice Powers-Barker, CFLE, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Lucas County
I sat for what seemed like a frustrating amount of hours and minutes every day… zooming, teleworking, watching television, healing from back pain (exacerbated by long hours on the computer)… almost immobilized by fear, depression, anxiety, lack of motivation… and I felt guilty… why wasn’t I connecting more with my teen children, who are struggling through this pandemic with their own issues; connecting more with my husband who is a teacher and so exhausted from teaching all day, trying to motivate his students to hold it together, that he is crashed out napping in the other room? Why wasn’t I more effective with supervising my work teams? Is this all that life has right now? Is this what the next several months will be like? Maybe.
Have you been here? When there are things you must do, but you just can’t move? This phenomenon has been termed “pandemic paralysis” recently by psychologists and popular press. This paralysis can leave us feeling defeated, deflated and depressed.
And then one evening that just seemed to drag on endlessly, I got up and cleaned the bathroom in my home. That felt motivating in and of itself, as it had been too long-neglected. So I cleaned another bathroom, then the kitchen. I asked my husband for help on a project I couldn’t do by myself. Then my kids came home and my daughter asked for help with studying, and my son needed to talk through an issue that was bothering him. And I had energy and desire to assist. I re-connected with a sense of purpose even in my own home. With the next workday, I was re-committed to the teams and staff I support and supervise. I want to help others be their best self, contributing to the best team. I reached out to a couple friends and acquaintances to check on how they were doing.
How can we switch from that time paralyzed on the couch to feeling productive and worthwhile? Sometimes, we just need to do something. Living with the uncertainty of so many issues in this pandemic can be exhausting and paralyzing. But take heart, there are some things we can do.
Shift from worry and problem-focused thinking to solution-focusedthinking. Focus on aspects of a problem that you can do something about, and you’ll enter a mode of active problem-solving.
Chunk your time – This term is used by mental health professionals to help people understand how to break tasks into smaller, more do-able segments. Creating just the right size chunk of a task helps you feel a sense of accomplishment. This helps us not to feel so overwhelmed, which can snuff out any degree of motivation. This is a good approach to ‘one day at a time’ or ‘one moment at a time.’
Deal with your emotions. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Try to deal with those negative emotions instead of ignoring them. Allow yourself to experience these emotions during times of uncertainty, and they will eventually pass.
If you literally don’t have the strength to get up, get some help. Call your doctor, talk to a licensed mental health practitioner. Please reach out to someone!
If you can impact your immediate environment enough to make a small, motivating change, you can create that power in your own life. The power of now. The power of the positive. The power of finding purpose. What if the ‘something’ you do is so much greater than cleaning a bathroom? What if what you decide to do is help someone beyond your family, reaching out to those in need. How much more will that help you feel empowered to dosomething? Do anything!
Other Live Healthy Live Well Blogs to help on this topic:
Everything changes immediately after hearing the words, “you have cancer.” The world seems to stop in that moment and you are paralyzed by fear. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to adjust. There are many important decisions to make, do not make them in haste. Carefully consider your options as you choose your healthcare team, manage prescriptions and treatment options and navigate financial and insurance concerns. Focus on what you can control and create an action plan that includes the following steps to live your best life with cancer.
Communicate with your healthcare team. Learn as much as you can about your diagnosis. If you are experiencing short- or long-term side effects, let them know. Do not suffer in silence.
Eat well. Recognize that cancer and its treatment may cause side effects that make it difficult to eat. Aim for 2 ½ cups of fruits and vegetables daily. Include citrus, dark green and yellow vegetables. Whole grains, beans and lentils helps to fuel the body. Limit high fat foods and snack frequently through out the day with power snacks.
Hydrate. Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Hydration helps regulate body temperature, aids in the absorption of vitamins and nutrients and promotes optimal organ function.
Stay active. Walking to the mailbox, lifting soup-can-weights or hitting the gym, physical activity is important. When you exercise, you are present in the moment and less focused on worries. Discuss physical activity options with your doctor for an approved exercise plan.
Get enough sleep. Insufficient sleep makes coping with challenges difficult. Most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep per night for optimal function.
Practice gratitude. People who approach life with a positive attitude are less stressed. Make a mental list of the things you are grateful for every night before you sleep.
Get Organized: Feeling out of control is driven by disorganization. Which adds to general stress. Reduce clutter and get organized. You will focus on more important things.
Learn relaxation techniques. Studies show that people who meditate regularly (even just three minutes!) feel calmer and more in control. Try yoga. Take a walk-in nature. Sit quietly. Spend time with your pet. Try mindfulness.
Say “No” When Necessary: Boundaries are important. Do not feel bad when you feel like you need to say no. Avoid taking on more than you can commit to and do not feel guilty about it.
Lean on Your Support System: Stay connected with family and friends. This leads to less stress and better coping ability. Do not be afraid to ask for support during these times.
Written by: Beth Stefura, OSU Extension Educator, Mahoning County stefura.2@osu.edu
Reviewed by: Jenny Lobb, OSU Extension Educator, Franklin County lobb.3@osu.edu
When my March 19th blog Certainty in Uncertain Times posted, I was unsure what was going to happen with my work, my community, our state, or our nation. With so many unknowns, I could not allow myself to go down the road of “what if’s”, so I chose to focus on things I knew were steadfast. Even as I wrote that blog, I realized I have many privileges. I have realized even more over the past several weeks just how fortunate I am.
While we have learned a lot about Coronavirus and flattening the curve, there are still many unknowns. When will a vaccine be developed? How long will we have to maintain social distancing? Am I or my family going to contract the virus? How will the economy rebound? All these unknowns and more can cause anxiety and other emotions. It is important to recognize and try to manage these thoughts and feelings if we are to move through these challenges.
My husband and I are fortunate to work for organizations that are supportive of their employees and our overall health and well-being. My supervisor checks in with me regularly. We are encouraged to do things to take care of ourselves and our families. Rearranging our work hours if needed, taking time off, engaging in professional development opportunities (virtually of course), adjusting our workloads, and other reasonable accommodations are all possibilities.
My children are older and can take care of themselves, do their own homework, and even help around the house, so I have been able work from home with little to no interruptions. Some colleagues and many of you have young children who need more time and attention. My kids understand the reasons for all the changes, though they are not happy about them. We have conversations about the different ramifications of our current situation and what the future might look like.
It was no surprise when our governor announced that schools will not resume this year. My high school sophomore daughter is not happy, but she is a high-performing student, so completing school on-line is not really an issue. This is not the case for many. The adjustment for her and my college sophomore son has been the hardest part for me. Neither of them expected to end the year this way, but at least they have two more. For the seniors and their parents, it’s a different story. They have not had the celebrations and the closure that comes from all the “lasts”.
As restrictions are starting to lift in several areas, many people may be anxious about transitioning back to work and back to the usual routines of daily life. I am co-chair of the Work/Life/HR sub-committee of the COVID-19 Transition Team for our college. The concerns of faculty, staff, and students about returning to work or school is critical to our planning. NAMI Ohio gives these tips to help with the transition back to work:
IT’S OKAY TO BE ANXIOUS
GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT
EMBRACE THE RETURN TO STRUCTURE
GET SOME SLEEP, PET YOUR DOG
As our team and thousands of similar groups across the state and the nation begin to plan for a return to work, the health and safety of employees is at the forefront. Many organizations are considering the physical safety of their buildings, as well as the cultural and social aspects of returning to “business as usual.” These are just a few of the things our team will be considering as we provide recommendations to our Dean. While I must consider many unknowns as part of this team, I remain focused on the present and on the things I can do right now to help myself, my family, my colleagues, and my community to continue to be resilient in the face of the challenges we still face.
What have you found effective in coping with the COVID-19 changes?
Writer: Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Perry County.
Reviewer: Dr. Roseanne Scammahorn, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, OSU Extension Darke County.
I am a creature of habit. I find comfort in an environment that is structured, orderly, neat, and reliable. I enjoy having a procedure for everything I do. However, the past week has been anything but predictable. Like you, my home and work schedules and routines have flown out the window! As a result, I have been overwhelmed with stress and my reaction has been emotional eating.
Emotional eating is when you consume foods in response to your emotions rather than eating when you are hungry. Negative emotions such as stress and anxiety, boredom, sadness and even positive events such as wedding and parties all can result in emotional eating. Happy or sad, most of us correlate comfort food with making us feel better. Ice cream after a breakup, a bag of chips when we are bored, too many helpings of dessert at Thanksgiving all result in the potential to over-eat.
With everything going on in our lives right now, how do we take steps to stop emotional eating?
Journaling or a Food Diary: For me it is a food diary. Writing down what I eat, how much, and what I am feeling as compared to if I am really hungry shows me the patterns I develop connecting my stress/mood to food.
Mindful Wellness: Practicing mindful wellness has also shown to be a great way to tame your stress and encourage mindful eating. When you slow down, pace yourself and enjoy your food using all of your senses, you are able to pay better attention to the impulse to grab unhealthy foods, decide if you are really hungry, and choose to eat healthy during the stressful times. MyPlate Kitchen is a great resource to find healthy and affordable meals and snack ideas.
Build a Support Network: Thankfully I work with an amazing group of people at OSU Extension, and I know that I can call on them, a friend or a family member if I am having a really bad day. Having a support network helps your efforts to change your eating habits and improves your chance of success! It may also be helpful to join a support group specifically for individuals with similar emotional eating behaviors to learn better ways of coping.
Substitute other activities for eating: This could look like a taking a walk, reading, calling an old friend, playing with your cat or dog, giving yourself a break, or if you are like me, cleaning and organizing. Doing something that reduces your stress, fights boredom, or takes away the temptation to emotionally eat and substitutes a healthier behavior is a great way to reduce emotional eating.
We are currently in a phase of constant change; we can’t control everything, but we can control how we choose to cope with our emotions. My goal is to make better choices when I am stressed, reduce my emotional eating, and enjoy the here and now rather than live in the past or worry about the future. May your goal help you to grow and learn as you learn healthy way to adjust to our ever-changing world.
Live Healthy Live Well 